Thursday, August 6, 2020

An American Pickle - Review

 


Seth Rogen (“Freaks and Geeks,” “Pineapple Express”) is no stranger to creating a bizarre mix of raunch and heart that really shouldn’t work. Films like “Pineapple Express” and “Superbad” layer their tales of friendship and love underneath the guise of weed and bad behavior, and other films like “The Disaster Artist,” “The Night Before,” and “50/50” are more upfront with their emotional stakes.

So, it should come as no surprise then that An American Pickle is his most “emotional” film yet. But what exactly does that mean, and does that equal a good film?

Rogen has double billing here, both as Herschel Greenbaum, the early 1900’s immigrant who ends up pickled, and his great grandson Ben Greenbaum. While there is the typical Seth Rogen shtick here, with pop culture and jewish gags, there’s something different about Rogen’s performance. Neither role is identical in any respect, despite the visual similarities, and neither person is innocent either.

There’s actual character development and growth as the story progresses, and it allows Rogen to stretch his legs arguably more than ever before. The supporting cast is also good, but no one here has nearly enough screen time to mention, save for Sarah Snook (“Succession,” “Steve Jobs”) as Herschel’s wife, Sarah Greenbaum. She’s sweet and delivers her deadpan lines well.

Simon Rich (“Man Seeking Woman,” “Saturday Night Live”) wrote the screenplay, which was based on his short story “Sell Out,” and for anyone familiar with his previous works, “Pickle” isn’t nearly as sweet, nor as sour, as it could’ve been. Where Rich’s most successful works brilliantly blended the bizarreness of modern life with an overblown sense of fantastical elements, “Pickle” is far lower key than previous outings. It doesn’t mean the dialogue is any less snappy or the emotional arcs any less crunchy, its just a bit more pedestrian than its writer and premise might have suggested.

Each machination on religion, one’s purpose in life, and the nature of family still ring true, and Rogen’s eager delivery sells it all. Herschel is easy to care about and it’s easy to be angry or apathetic towards Ben, but Rich is never content with letting those surface glances be the only ones we get, even as the movie gets bogged down in some “look at the old guy experience the modern world” clichés.

Cinematographer turned Director Brandon Troust (“This is the End,” “The Interview”) certainly has created a bizarre world here to play in. The way everything is shot gives the appearance of a stage play, as if the backdrops are merely made of cardboard. While it isn’t as evident in the modern-day sections of the film, it’s the 1900’s chunk that really shines with a slimy sheen of beauty that is definitely distinct.

Make no mistake, as good as the dialogue, the vibe of the film, and Rogen’s performance is (and his performance is very good) the entire film lacks that something special to make it a must-see affair. That might be odd, saying a movie about a man who’s been pickled for 100 years lacks something special, but it is indeed the case.

It’s far from terrible and fits snuggly in Rogen’s filmography alongside his other weird and heartfelt films, but it just doesn’t come together as smoothly as one might hope. It’s still got a delicious crunch to it that should please Rogen and oddball movie fans alike. 3.5/5

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

MAJOR EMOTION PICTURES Episode 2: The Big Green


This is Major Emotion Pictures, a discussion show where I sit down with my fellow film loving friends and discuss movies that mean a lot to them, for better or worse. In episode 2, we'll be discussing The Big Green, a 1995 Sports Comedy film from Disney, with my guest Jordan Stroud.

Friday, July 24, 2020

Yes God Yes - Review

 


Short and sweet might not be the best way to describe the ideal sexual encounter, but it is the perfect way to describe “Yes, God, Yes,” a film from Karen Maine (“Obvious Child”), based on her short film.

The premise is simple; a young Catholic high school girl is beginning to have sexual thoughts and believes that sending herself to a weekend retreat might help. She goes, it does not help, and hilarity ensues.

Although, as amusing as the film can be, hilarity definitely isn’t the word to describe this film. Its more of a sly, downplayed style of awkward humor, somewhere close to something like “The Office” without the documentary stylings. Often time the humor comes from the sheer awkwardness of the situations and the irony of many of the statements made.

That’s not to say there isn’t any great comedic acting here. Natalia Dyer (“Stranger Things,” “Velvet Buzzsaw”) is the film’s star and biggest asset. Her innocent nature and desire to learn more about herself are juxtaposed against the people and religious environment around her and Dyer milks these differences to the best results.

For those familiar with the term “mumblecore,” this is as close to a teen sex comedy as a mumblecore film has ever gotten. There isn’t really a plot; things do happen in a particular order, but it feels more just like life than any sort of movie narrative. Most of the dialogue also seems somewhat improvised, lending everything an awkward realism that makes the proceedings even better.

It’s difficult to tell if the film or Maine have anything really to say. Things don’t really kick into gear until the last third of the film, which features the most musing on the themes and elements therein (sex, abstinence, religion, queerness). It also helps that the last third also features at least double the dialogue than in the previous two-thirds of the film.

At a somewhat short 78 minutes, “Yes, God, Yes” is a simple film with simple goals that are achieved with relative success. It’s awkward and “indie film” nature will likely only appeal to a certain audience, but those who give it a try will likely find a pleasant little film with a point to make, some amusement to be had, and not much else. 3.5/5

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

MAJOR EMOTION PICTURES Episode 1: The Florida Project


This is Major Emotion Pictures, a discussion show where I sit down with my fellow film loving friends and discuss movies that mean a lot to them, for better or worse. In episode 1, we'll be talking about The Florida Project, a 2017 slice of life comedy drama film, with my guest, Cameron Potter.

Friday, July 10, 2020

Palm Springs - Review



For the absolute best possible experience, here is all you need to know: “Palm Springs” is an absolutely absurd and delightful romantic comedy that feels equal parts non-romantic and non-comedic. The characters are wonderfully endearing and excellently performed, and it belongs in a masterclass of high-concept rom-coms alongside “her,” “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” and “Paper Heart.”

That first statement is necessary because “Palm Springs” is best enjoyed knowing as little as humanly possible about it. While spoilers will be kept to an absolute minimum, only revealing the same plot elements mentioned in the film’s trailer, it really is better to go in blind.

Andy Samberg (“Celeste and Jesse Forever,” “Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping”) gets to strut his most dramatic chops yet in a career best performance playing nihilistic loner aptly named Nyles. There are clear hallmarks here that Samberg’s past film roles have touched on, such as a gleefully silly sense of humor and copious amounts of reckless behavior, but this is the first time these actions feel as thought they’re coming from a real person, as opposed to a caricature. There’s dramatic weight to his actions throughout the film, and he becomes someone easy to root for and a bit too easy to identify with.

Equally as good is Cristin Milioti (“Sleepwalk with Me,” “How I Met Your Mother”) as Sarah. She’s an easy best actress contender for the sheer amount of emotional change her character is forced to go through. Like Nyles, her plights are understandable and easy to empathize with. Milioti and Samberg are the perfect comedic and dramatic foibles for each other, pushing their antics to the breaking points while never losing sight of the care that slowly develops given their situation.

It’s incredibly impressive that such a delightful and inventive film is coming from a first-time director, Max Barbakow. His direction, alongside a script from Andy Siara (“Lodge 49”) sees the sandy area of Palm Springs take on an otherworldly sheen. The cranked up, sunny contrast give the entire film a sun-bleached look of despair that matches the absurdity of the film’s events perfectly.

Like the previously mentioned high-concept rom-coms at the start, what makes “Palm Springs” such a delight is the extent that it takes its central concept. While there are clearly some signs of lower budget (anytime there is any sort of special effect or a brief moment of green screen, it shows), the wide open and empty landscapes, alongside some simplistic and effective cinematography from Queyn Tran (“Unbelievable,” “The Little Hours”) coat the entire film in a hazy glow of fantastical realism.

This extent doesn’t just mean the wild antics and crude situations that are common with other Lonely Island productions, but Siara and Barbakow are also extremely interested at the moral quandaries at play. There’s a lot of talk about the meaning of life and consequences of one’s actions. There’s also an ever-evolving discussion of guilt and whether it matters if the people we wrong remember the wrongdoing or if we’re the only ones who do. There’s a lot for audiences to sink their teeth into beneath the guise of a sunny California wedding.

Bottom line, “Palm Springs” is a bizarre and wonderfully charming film that confronts its most existential ideas with the same level of enthusiasm as its zany comedic moments. Lead by two top tier equally comedic and dramatic performances, the only negative might be that the film’s themes and subject material might not be for everyone. But even those who might be turned off by the concept should watch. “Palm Springs” easily contains some of the year’s best performances with some of the year’s best writing in what is one of the year’s best films. 5/5

Thursday, July 9, 2020

Close Enough (Season 1) - Review

 


The prospect of voice actor and creator J.G. Quintel (“The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack,” “Regular Show”) moving from a children’s show to one aimed at adults should be the biggest leap in the world, but because of the way his previous show “Regular Show” worked, the differences are actually minimal. The Cartoon Network modern classic thrived on weird storylines based around teenaged worries and dipped in pop culture references. This new show, the long awaited “Close Enough” thrives on adult worries dipped in pop culture references.

Josh, voiced by Quintel, and Emily, voiced by Gabrielle Walsh (“Shameless,” “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones”), are a young couple living in an LA duplex with their friends: divorced couple Bridgette, voiced with a searing valley girl accent by Kimiko Glenn (“Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,” “Orange is the New Black”), and Alex, voiced by Jason Mantzoukas (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” “Big Mouth”) doing the Jason Mantzoukas voice.

There are layers to each character that make them more interesting to watch than the typical adult cartoons released each year; Emily is the main breadwinner of the house and struggles with not being a doormat to her boss, Josh has dreams of one day finishing the video game that made him semi-famous in college, Alex might be a slob, but has a PHD and is trying to finish his novel on space Vikings, and Bridgette clearly still has feelings for her ex-husband.

Quintel takes these characters and follows the same formula established in “Regular Show” to great effect. Take a real-life situation, crank it to the extreme via sci-fi or fantasy elements, and then use that extreme to cut to a real-life truth. One episode sees Emily trapped in a sitcom after she avoids talking about what she wants from her future with Josh and their daughter. Another sees the main foursome trying to be young for a night at a bar, only to learn that this bar kills any patrons they learn are about 30.

Most surprisingly of all, “Close Enough” manages to maintain its label of being “adult” without teetering into the forcefulness of other shows like “Mr. Pickles” or “Paradise P.D.” It’s less “adult swim” and more “Bob’s Burgers,” sure there are jokes about sex, some violence, and cursing, but it never feels like something the creators want you to feel ashamed for watching. It feels virtually the same as "Regular Show," by no means a bad thing, except it lets the characters fully curse instead of stopping at "What the H?"

The fact that it knows the difference between “for adults” and “adults only” is only one reason the show is one of the best cartoons of the year. It’s also just consistently funny in really surreal ways. Jokes and gags fly at a mile a minute, and while there are a fair share of technology and “damn millennials” gags, there are also just as many surprising ones that come out of nowhere.

For anyone missing the adventures of Mordecai and Rigby, consider “Close Enough” “Regular Show 2.0.” The gags fly fast and quick, coupled with some really great animation and voice acting. If there’s anything to fault, its that the “lessons” each episode tries to impart feel thrown in. This is a show that’s at its best when it’s trying to make you laugh and occasionally injecting some surprise emotions into the proceedings. Is it perfect? No, but it has potential to expand and be one of the best on TV. Regardless, its close enough. 4/5

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

We Bare Bears: The Movie - Review

 


With shows like “Steven Universe,” “Adventure Time,” “The Amazing World of Gumball,” and “Regular Show”, Cartoon Network has shown a remarkable amount of faith in allowing its creators to plan the endings for their respective shows. Some did epic finales, some made short epilogue series, and some made movies. “We Bare Bears” is getting its shot with its own movie, which might be an odd prospect given the shows generally low stakes, but make no mistake, they take full advantage of the opportunity.

After events that at first seem fairly mundane, the three Bear brothers, Grizzly, voiced by Eric Edelstein (“Twin Peaks,” “Complications”), Panda, voiced by Bobby Moynihan (“Saturday Night Live,” “The Secret Life of Pets”), and Ice Bear, voiced by Demetri Martin (“In A World…,” “Important Things with Demetri Martin”) find themselves on the run from Agent Trout, a Wildlife Control agent who seeks to deport the bears back to their respective habitats due to their antics throughout the series.

Its very clear that the events in the film are meant to be an allegory for racial discrimination, family separation, and immigration in America, especially given that creator and director Daniel Chong (“Toy Story of Terror!,” “Inside Out”) has states on numerous occasions that the show is meant to be an allegory for being a minority in America.

The themes are absolutely nailed within the film, as Chong and the writers never let the lighthearted tone get lost amongst the fray. It’s not too silly, and it isn’t too serious, and at no point does it ever feel like the film is talking down or babying its audience. Even by the time the third act comes, things get quite dire and it all culminates in an emotionally satisfying ending for the film and the series.

Chong’s simplistic art style shines here, thanks to the higher budget. Vistas and wide shots have an expansiveness to them that begs to be watched on a big screen TV. Weather and fire also contrast the bright colors to deliver a very epic feeling to some of the proceedings as well.

There are a few tiny nitpicks to speak of though. There are a couple songs in the film that seem out of place. The songs themselves aren’t bad, they’re well written and have a good flow to them, but given that they’re the only ones in the film and that they pop up in the middle and then disappear, they feel out of place. Likewise, given the fact that this is the series finale, its disappointing that some of the side characters from the main show only get one or two lines in the film.

“We Bare Bears: The Movie” works both as a series finale and as a topical allegory for some hot button issues. These topics are handled with care but are never downplayed for the sake of a younger demographic. This focus on tougher themes, as well as the great animation and voice acting, makes this a must watch for any fan of the series. Those who’ve never met these bear brothers before might be a bit confused, but will likely enjoy themselves, nonetheless. 4.5/5

Friday, June 12, 2020

The King of Staten Island - Review

 


Judd Apatow’s (“The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Freaks and Geeks”) directing and writing style is hit or miss in the best possible way. When he hits, its mainly because he’s delivered a film that features a very charismatic actor just being themselves, with a story crafted around their personality (“Knocked Up,” “Funny People”). When he misses, his films tend to turn very self-indulgent and overdrawn (“This is 40,” “Trainwreck”). “The King of Staten Island” isn’t without its stumbles, but it ends up being a fairly enjoyable time spent with a charismatic cast.

That cast is led by SNL cast member Pete Davidson (“The Dirt,” “Set It Up”), who also wrote the semi-autobiographical film with Apatow and Dave Sirus (“Saturday Night Live”), and he carries the entire film. Neither he nor Apatow or Sirus are scared of making his character, Scott, unlikable and idiotic, and it proves to endear him to the audience more.

Life does suck in its own way for him, and a huge part of the film is watching him wake himself up and grab life by its bootstraps. Given that the film is clearly based on Davidson’s life in some part, its hard to tell if he’s so good because the performance is good or because he’s just being himself, but its good, nonetheless.

His mother Margie, played by Marisa Tomei (“The Big Short,” “Cyrus”), his sister Claire, played by Maude Apatow (“euphoria,” “Hollywood (2020)”), and his on-again-off-again flame Kelsey, played by Bel Powley (“The Diary of a Teenage Girl,” “White Boy Rick:), are all great as well. Powley in particular is a ball of charisma, and it makes one wish they were used more in the film. They’re parts are relegated to supporting status, and Claire simply drops out of the film for seemingly no reason. The same goes for the group of burnout friends Scott hangs around, as they aren’t seen after the first half of the film despite playing a large part in the first half.

Bill Burr (“The Mandalorian,” “F is for Family”), in one of his few dramatic-styled roles, is excellent as Ray, the firefighter dating Scott’s mother. He has great chemistry with Davidson, even as the two are at each other’s throats for most of the film. It’s easy to believe their relationship as the film goes on, in part thanks to their chemistry and the laidback nature of the script.

“King of Staten Island” does have a few problems though. There’s the aforementioned issue with some side characters just vanishing from the plot, and while the lackadaisical nature of it all works as a laidback tale, it prevents the proceedings from having a lot of weight.

That’s not to say the film doesn’t tackle difficult material, it does, and does it well. But there doesn’t really feel like there’s ever a climax. It’s just a story of interconnected scenes that continues, until it stops. This does help mitigate the issue most Judd Apatow films have, namely that they feel two long. Despite being 2-hours-and-15-minutes, the experience breezes by thanks to the segmented nature of the plot.

This is a funny and natural feeling film. The dialogue and overall atmosphere feel like it’s just being filmed as it happens, delivering a sense of realism that more “serious” films fight tooth and nail for. But the way it drops characters out of the plot for almost no reason, as well as leaving some plot threads just hanging in the wind prevents this “King” from ruling as much as it could. This is a tale being told to you from a burnt-out friend. Some parts are fuzzy and straight up left out, but its still a fun and sometime intense tale to experience. 3.5/5

Da 5 Bloods - Review

 


While he hasn’t really ever slowed down, Spike Lee has had a particular hot streak in recent years. He won his first Oscar for the screenplay of “BlackKklansman”, he directed the acclaimed television adaptation of his film “She’s Gotta Have It” for Netflix, produced a time-travel film for Netflix “See You Yesterday” and even wrote and directed the story mode for “NBA 2K16.” Now he’s teaming up with Netflix yet again for his latest film, a Vietnam war film “Da 5 Bloods.”

This latest film follows a group of Vietnam war vets as they travel back to the country to retrieve not only the body of their fallen comrade but a stash of secret gold they buried together during the war. While this may seem like a simple plot, the way it spirals from there shows just how creative Lee can be when crafting a narrative.

There are twists and changes throughout the entire film, and the thick layers of tension that Lee and his co-writers Danny Bilson (“The Rocketeer,” “Trancers”), Paul De Meo (“The Rocketeer,” “Trancers”), Kevin Willmott (“BlacKkKlansman,” “Chi-Raq”) slather onto the events make every moment past the 35-minute mark anxiety inducing.

Every performance is excellent, with each actor bringing a level of commitment that makes them instantly likable, whether their role is large or small. However, the two massive standouts are Delroy Lindo (“The Cider House Rules,” “The Good Fight”) as Paul and Clarke Peters (“Red Hook Summer,” “The Wire”) as Otis. The film seems to pit the two against each other at most opportunities, making it seem as though they’re almost the devil and angel, respectively, on the shoulders of the movie’s moral compass.

Paul is stern and steadfast, and his internal conflicts with himself and the way his fellow Bloods have grown differently from him makes for a fascinating internal struggle that nestles itself deep in the center of the film’s questions. Likewise, Otis is also conflicted, but has a calmer personality and when the two are pitted against each other, teeth are bared and the emotional stakes are at their highest, and most effective peaks.

It’s difficult to talk about the film without spoiling anything, so let it just be said that the events conspire in ways that are emotionally satisfying for the arcs these characters go on, even though it isn’t the most action-packed conclusion or the most satisfying endings for the audience.

Musically, the film is scored by frequent Lee collaborator Terence Blanchard (“Harriet,” “BlackKklansman”) and his score thumbs with 70s era, Vietnam stylings that underscore some tense moments just as well as they underscore the emotional ones. Cinematographer Newton Thomas Sigel (“Drive,” “The Usual Suspects”) does the same with his camerawork, shooting the tension and calm moments with the same level of precision that makes it virtually impossible to tell what’s coming next. He and Lee also nail the usage of different aspect ratios to communicate time-period and tone.

There is however something about “Bloods” that holds it ever so slightly back from being amongst Lee’s all-time best. While Lee’s best films either have a firm stake in real life stories (“Malcolm X,” “BlackKklansman”), or come from a place of nitty, gritty independence (“Do the Right Thing,” “She’s Gotta Have It”), “Da 5 Bloods” feels like his most crowd-pleasing film yet. That’s not a bad thing, as it still has plenty of his grit and spit-fire passion, as well as his voice that will definitely anger quite a few viewers. But despite that it oddly feels the most palatable compared to his past few films, like it’s been sanded down a bit.

An abundance of different plot threads, flashbacks, and characters could fall apart in the wrong director’s hands, but Lee lets them get just messy enough to maintain their interesting plot nature, without letting thing tumble out of his control. This is, at its very basic elements, a fantastic example of how a great director can keep a lot of complicated plates spinning without letting any of them topple.

Saying that “Da 5 Bloods” isn’t as good as Lee’s all-time greats might seem counterintuitive, because this is still a can’t miss film. Packed to the gills with great comedic moments as well as tense emotional journeys, and all anchored by a cast of top-notch performances, with Lindo and Peters delivering Oscar caliber stuff, it’s without a doubt the best film released so far this year. “Da 5 Bloods” is a prime example of a director churning out a pristine, if slightly sanded down, work at the top of their game. 4/5

Artemis Fowl - Review

 


Somehow, Kenneth Branagh has gone from directing award winning adaptations like “Henry V (1989)”, “Much Ado About Nothing (1993),” and “Cinderella (2015)” to the most mediocre of adaptations in the forms of “Thor” and “Murder on the Orient Express.” Now, he seems to have completed this arc by delivering the world the shiny, glistening turd that is “Artemis Fowl,” one of the absolute worst films of the year.

At the very least, the film feels authentic. Thanks to the casting of actual Irish actors like Colin Farrell, Lara McDonnell, and Ferida Shaw, there isn’t a bad accent in earshot. Umm…McDonnell is pretty decent as Elven police officer Holly Short. That’s pretty much the best that can be said for the film though: one decent performance and not terrible accents.

It bares mentioning that for every review, one might go to a source like Wikipedia or iMDB for actors names, writers, directors, etc. The Wikipedia page seems to communicate information about the characters better than the film itself: Mulch Diggums, played by a gravel gargling Josh Gad, is apparently a former associate of Artemis Fowl Sr., though at no point is that communicated in the film. The same goes for characters like Artemis Jr.’s “best friend” Juliet. At some points they interact, but the film introduces her like a random character who happens to be there, not like the best friend of the main character.

These issues are emblematic of the entire film’s flaws. It crumbles underneath its own ambitions, introducing fantastical concepts and then never doing anything with them: the police force combing the Faerie world for a missing artifact? Never seen. There’s a force field that seems to be hiding the invading Elves from the human world when they invade Artemis’s house despite the house being surrounded by miles of forest where no one else lives. There’s too much world-building and logic that goes into the film, overexplaining every action at every move.

It’s also painfully child friendly. A “death” happens with a character literally sitting straight up in a chair with no indication of any wounds whatsoever, and then they are magically healed 5 minutes later.

The script is absolutely abysmal. Of the two writers credited, one is Conor McPherson, an Irish playwright who holds a doctorate in Literature and the other is Hamish McColl, the writer of “Mr. Bean’s Holiday” and “Johnny English Reborn.” Some truly idiotic lines spout from these characters mouths, but none take the cake like Elven leader Judi Dench landing on the beach outside of Artemis’s house and saying out loud, to no one, “Top of the mornin’.”

It genuinely feels as though the film was made up as they went along, not just shooting anything and everything they could think of, but even continuing to make it all up in the editing process. There are cuts everywhere that make no sense, and lines clearly dubbed over and added in post to make the changes decided upon after the editing process make as much sense as possible.

A terrible script, awful editing, and a sense that things are just tumbling along by sheer willpower alone might not be enough to turn people away though, so let’s not forget this crucial point: it is virtually impossible to care about Artemis or anyone else in this film.

Artemis is a genius child-prodigy of the most boring variety. Early on in the film we’re told that Artemis is a child-prodigy and are given a list of every achievement he’s completed up until his age of 12. Not once do we see any of this, even in a flashback. Every important moment in the film is told to the audience instead of shown in any form. An important macguffin artifact is stolen? Tell them, don’t show any exciting robbery scene. A character’s father is long dead? Don’t show the death or even hint at it, have them directly tell one another.

Even if the script was better or the film decided to show these events, it still doesn’t help the fact that Artemis and the world around him is just boring. They don’t leave his fortress of a house, and 85% of the film takes place in a standoff outside it. It feels shockingly low-budget for a film reported to cost $125 million, not counting the marketing.

The film even manages to botch the narration of the film. Josh Gad’s character is supposed to be recounting the events of the film to British Intelligence, but there are numerous moments that make no sense if he was to be narrating it to them. At one point he says, “Ladies and gentlemen, Haven City.” Yet, if he was actually explaining this to BI, why would he say it in such a way? He also tells them that “He’s the smartest boy I’ve ever known” despite only knowing him for around 45 minutes. Its yet another example of something likely left on the cutting room floor or added in at the eleventh hour.

There’s a reason that “Artemis Fowl” is the only of Disney’s delayed 2020 theatrical films to be given a digital release. The film is abysmal in just about every single quality, not sparing a single actor. At its best, its boring. At its worst, it’s a bizarre amalgamation of editing mishaps, overwritten world-building and explanations that overexplain every single moment of the film. Artemis says he’s the next criminal mastermind. No, the only criminals are the executives at Disney. If this had been put out for theater ticket prices, it would’ve been highway robbery. 1/5