Red Notice - Review

 

Despite what it seems like Hollywood is trying to convince audiences nearly constantly, charm alone does not a movie make. In our more quippy, self-referential movie making landscape of the 21st century, every film seems willing to wink its way out of mediocrity, when in reality it often ends up doing the opposite. This is a long way of saying that throwing some A-list actors and quips at a globe trotting quest doesn’t immediately make for an entertaining film, and “Red Notice” is the perfect example of that.

The film follows FBI agent John Hartley, played by Dwayne Johnson (“Fast Five,” “Jungle Cruise”) as he teams up with art thief Nolan Booth, played by Ryan Reynolds (“Deadpool,” “Pokémon: Detective Pikachu”), to steal Cleopatra’s bejeweled eggs before The Bishop, played by Gal Gadot (“Wonder Woman,” “Keeping Up with the Jonses”), can steal them herself, so that Hartley can clear his name and that Booth can be the world’s number one art thief once again, all the while being chased by Hartley’s former associate, Interpol agent Urvashi Das, played by Ritu Arya (“The Umbrella Academy,” “Humans”).

Even for $200-million-plus action films, the plot is woefully underdeveloped and just plain doesn’t make sense half the time. It’s constantly contradicting itself with every twist, turn, and action sequence. It introduces far too many plot threads and ways for the characters to go about their goals for one film and it becomes headache-inducing to try and keep up with it all. It honestly has enough material in its barely two-hour runtime to make for two, maybe even three movies.

None of it is interesting either. Writer/director Rawson Marshall Thurber (“Central Intelligence,” “DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story”) got his start with comedy films, and yet his only successful action movie since has been the one that most embraced his comedic strengths. There are quips in “Red Notice” but no humor. It’s all just jabs and lines that characters spout from their mouths like fire hoses. None of it lands with any impact and it has all the storytelling nuance of the films put on display in Best Buy to show off the 4K TVs.

Worst of all, the numerous twists that Thurber tries to throw out all land with a thud. They either feel far too lazy, like the “I knew you were lying” cliché, or they betray everything else the film set up. What makes for a good twist is when you can see it coming, when, after watching the film and learning about it, you can rewatch the film again and see where all the clues were placed. “Red Notice” doesn’t have that intelligence or attention to detail, leaving it feeling like its big third-act twist was thrown in at the last minute just to have one.

This hasn’t even touched on any of the acting yet, which is something, to say the least. Johnson is clearly doing the best with an undercooked script, but even his raw hulking charisma isn’t enough to save some of the most laughable and grown-worthy lines of the year. Seriously, half of these feel cut from an SNL parody of these kinds of action movies. Reynolds doesn’t fare much better, but he is the most likable character in the entire film. He at least has a goal that’s consistent throughout the entire film, and while he’s mostly just being his typical self, he does also get the closest thing to an emotional arc that the film has.

And then there’s Gadot. Love or hate her, she clearly has star power given how quickly she’s risen up the ranks of the Hollywood ladder. However, she is woefully miscast here. The Bishop has a “sit back in the chair and do my bidding” quality to her that Gadot just can’t deliver. She’s not a bad actress, but this just isn’t a character she plays convincingly. She feels like the decoy that the real person would send out as a face, so they don’t reveal their true identity until they absolutely want to.

If anyone is at least trying to save the film, it's Arya. She’s just such a genuinely charming underused tool in the film’s back pocket and she’s a joy whenever she does get to be used. It’s a shame that, as the film goes on, she becomes little more than “police/law enforcement stand-in” rather than seeming like her own character from the film’s start. Oh, and the Ed Sheeran cameo that provides more happiness and joy in thirty seconds than the entire film provides over two hours.

It's kind of baffling just how boring “Red Notice” ends up being. For a film that trots the entire globe and goes from priceless eggs that belonged to Cleopatra to a bunker full of Nazi memorabilia, its remarkably underwhelming and just kind of boring. It throws logic out the window very quickly, and yet also seems committed to reminding you about the better films that exist in its genre. When Reynolds’s character whistles the Indiana Jones theme while walking into an abandoned bunker, it isn’t a fun reference, it just ends up being a reminder of other movies you could be watching.

If only it was edited like those other films. “Red Notice” has a horrific case of hyper editing, cutting back and forth jarringly fast for moments that would be perfectly fine if they just played out on their own. This is further exacerbated by the fact that the film features a large number of overhead, sweeping drone shots that, mixed with the editing, create a bizarre lack of any consistent fluid motion.

“Red Notice” is boring, frustratingly plotted, with an undercooked script and actors that are either just fine or are greatly miscast. This is an incredibly generic adventure that doesn’t seem to want to stand out in any way, instead just perfectly fine with being another cookie-cutter action film with no greater ambitions than being left on in the background during a TV dinner. 1.5/5