Bullet Train - Review

 

Sometimes, all you need is a good premise, some committed actors, and some action to make a fun, popcorn flick ready and made for audiences to just have a relaxing time at the movies. That might sound like damning with faint praise but given the glutton of forgettable action films that release each year, it’s a triumph that “Bullet Train” maintains a steady level of enjoyment, even if it doesn’t raise the bar.

The plot, strictly speaking, of this film isn’t exactly straightforward. Based on the Japanese novel written by Kōtarō Isaka, it follows Brad Pitt (“Interview with a Vampire,” “Moneyball”) as Ladybug, an assassin who takes a harmless snatch job after turning over a new leaf. However, he ends up wrapped up in a larger conspiracy after learning the briefcase he was sent to steal is being sought after by a pair of assassins named Lemon and Tangerine, played by Brian Tyree Henry (“Atlanta,” “Widows”) and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (“Kick-Ass,” “Nowhere Boy”) respectively, and a young assassin posing as an innocent schoolgirl named The Prince, played by Joey King (“The Kissing Booth,” “The Act”).

Eventually the plot ends up also involving a gaggle of other assassins such as Andrew Koji (“Warrior (2019),” “Snake Eyes”) as The Father, Hiroyuki Sanada (“The Last Samurai,” “Mortal Kombat (2021)”) as The Elder, Bad Bunny as The Wolf, and Zazie Beetz (“Atlanta,” “Deadpool 2”) as The Hornet, just to name a few.

It definitely is a jam-packed and chaotic film. Characters, cameos, and punches fly by with nary a moments notice. If anything, “Bullet Train” does manage to maintain a high level of energy and enthusiasm throughout the entire film which is certainly commendable. Pitt is rolling with all the punches, keeping up a demeanor that could be best described as if The Dude from “The Big Lebowski” became an assassin. He’s certainly having a blast, but honestly the film’s biggest successes are Henry and Taylor-Johnson as Lemon and Tangerine. The pair of British assassins have the best rapport, the best jokes, the best arc, and Henry in particular the best running gag throughout the film. They’re just a delight to spend time with and if the film had just been about them, its hard to say it wouldn’t be just as good.

Koji and Sanada are also great, effectively playing the straight men in this world of overblown craziness. They’re effective, but its hard to call them memorable against so many other actors who are, regardless of skill, playing everything at eleven. Bunny and Beetz are fine for their roles, but they’re closer to cameos than fully fleshed out performances. Meanwhile Joey King is… certainly doing some acting. She’s fine for the most part, but the more she amps things up, the more annoying she becomes. And not in a fun “she’s annoying the characters but not the audience” kind of way.

Thankfully, when you get a director like David Leitch (“Atomic Blonde,” “John Wick”) behind the camera, you’re going to have at least a base level of quality action filmmaking. While not nearly as inventive or seamless as some of his past works, there’s still a lot of fun action choreography here and its without a doubt far better than your average blockbuster. The train is also a highlight, with multiple cars fully built out practically and slowly being destroyed throughout the film. The production design is just top notch, and even the few brief glimpses we get at various train stops are filled with color and life. It’s a delight to watch the carnage unfold, and only really devolves into CGI unwieldiness in the last 15 minutes.

Meanwhile the script, adapted by Zak Olkewicz (“Fear Street: Part Two - 1978”), is certainly choked full of odd scenarios and one-liners. It’s hard to call the overall plot good, but it’s certainly serviceable and coherent enough. Every actor delivers their lines well and with the right amount of comedic emphasis. There’s also something to be said for the twists, as the movie keeps audiences and Ladybug on the same page throughout, allowing them to put the pieces together as he does. There are numerous threads to follow and breadcrumbs throughout, making it a fun mystery to puzzle out in between all of the chaos.

It's hard to call “Bullet Train” bad. It’s absolutely derivative of other R-rated action-comedy romps, but the cast is committed, for better or worse, and the action is particularly solid throughout. Package that with a puzzling story to solve and a backdrop of colorful and gorgeous landmarks and you’ve got the makings of a pleasant, if not particularly revolutionary, popcorn flick that should easily satisfy those who seek it out for those thrills and not much else. 3.5/5