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“There’s one in every family,” or so the marketing for the 2002 original “Lilo & Stitch” said. It makes sense, given the titular character’s more anarchic and chaotic nature, to juxtapose him against the nicer, calmer Disney fare. It clearly worked, as the original film was not only a box-office success, but the character has become one of Disney’s most profitable cash cows. Now, deep into the age of the Disney live-action remake, it makes sense that a character as popular as him would get the same treatment given to other Disney classics like “Cinderella” and “Snow White.” They’ve even kept the marketing the same, with posters involving Stitch messing with recent Disney live-action films but this time with a far more fitting tagline: “Who asked for this?”
The film stars newcomer Maia Kealoha as six-year-old Lilo, a young Hawaiian girl living with her sister Nani, played by Sydney Elizebeth Agudong (“Infamously in Love,” “At Her Feet”), after the recent death of their parents. Lonely and frustrated with her sister, Lilo wishes for a best friend, and she gets one in the form of the alien experiment Stitch, voiced by Chris Sanders (“How to Train Your Dragon,” “The Croods”), shortly after he crash lands in Hawaii from deep space. Stitch uses Lilo to try and blend in, hiding in plain sight from his creator Jumba, played by Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover,” “The LEGO Batman Movie”), and Pleakley, played by Billy Magnussen (“Game Night,” “Aladdin (2019)”), while also avoiding the human CIA agent Cobra Bubbles, played by Courtney B. Vance (“Isle of Dogs,” “The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story”).
Stitch’s chaotic nature is still here in ample supply, even if his strict violence has been toned down a bit. He tears things up with reckless abandon, and the heart of his character is still there. Given her newcomer status, Kealoha also holds her own remarkably well, not only for a child actor but also for one having to play against a non-existent CGI creature. She’s adorable and manages to only occasionally drift into the territory occupied by other child actors. Magnussen is also an absolute delight as Pleakley, either in his human disguise form or voicing his CGI alien counterpart. His gift for extremely physical humor carries over to his voice as well, and he is a scene-stealer in every moment. Stitch himself also looks fantastic and stands as a great example of transforming a 2D character into 3D CGI with ease.
Unfortunately, that’s where the positives end. This new version of the original film, directed by Dean Fleischer Camp (“Marcel the Shell with Shoes On”) and written by Chris Kekaniokalani Bright and Mike Van Waes (“Dear David”), is a bizarre Frankenstein version of the original. It alternates between scenes that are either completely different than what came before or are word for word the exact same, and the difference in material makes for a jumbled mess of central themes. For example, the original film’s main antagonist Gantu is completely absent, with Jumba now fitting into that role. An interesting enough change, but the film doesn’t change Jumba’s character at all to fit this more opposing role, making him lack any sort of menace or danger and making the third act chase to save the day as exciting as a bowl of corn flakes.
This is just one of numerous scripting and plot issues with the film as a whole. It feels as though there were too many various ideas on how to mix things up for a remake and Bright and Waes simply threw a dart at a board to decide what to change. It leads to the central themes and morals lacking the character arcs or impact needed to actually make them work. This coupled with the performances from the rest of the cast, which maintain an overly energetic, hokey feeling, give the entire film this identity of being a streaming film gussied up for a theatrical release. This would be a shocking idea if not for the fact that that’s exactly what happened. This might explain why the colors look flat, the cinematography is basic and bland, and the CGI characters look incredibly ugly besides Stitch. There’s even a moment of product placement so blatant, you’d think the moment was initially shot to be a commercial and was accidentally included in the final film. I hope you like Capri-Sun!
What all of this means is that the identity of the film has been flattened, turned into a generic kid’s movie E.T. knockoff, the kind that used to come out every few years before streaming services became the main home for films of that quality. Yes, the original film still exists and this new remake being subpar will not affect that, but its nevertheless disappointing to see a character and story that are regularly regarded as the height of Disney’s 2D canon turned into a shallow impersonation of the kind of film it was poking fun at when it was originally released.
“Lilo & Stitch” is a bland, bloated, confused, boring mess that changes its story at random and doesn’t even put forth the effort to retrofit its central themes to fit the new narrative. Stitch himself may look and sound great, Maia Kealoha does a fine job and could easily have a bright career ahead of her, and Billy Magnussen tries his best to save what he can, but this is a film that lacks any kind of whimsy or identity apart from being the same thing you’ve seen before, but with a new coat of paint. I’ll remove the critic facade for a moment for a perfect example: the speech Stitch gives at the end of the film about his “little broken family” is word for word the same speech as in the original film. And if you listen closely, it sounds almost exactly like the vocal recording itself was just reused from the original film. If that isn’t a perfect example of what this film is, I don’t know what is. 1.5/5
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